Concerned about your relationship? A girlfriend, boyfriend, lover
or other partner who treats you badly can cause serious injury to your
body, mind and emotions.
- Are you ever afraid of your partner?
- Has your partner ever threatened to
harm or "out" you?
- Has your partner ever hit you,
thrown things at you or forced you to have sex?
If you answered "yes," even once,
your partner may be abusive.
Myths and Facts About GLBT Domestic Violence:
Myth: Battering/abuse does not
exist in lesbian, bisexual, and trans communities; only men abuse
Fact: Domestic violence does exist among gay, lesbian, bisexual
and trans people; it is not a problem limited to heterosexual
relationships. The extent and severity of abuse in these communities
is becoming increasingly evident. A 10-year, 10-city study published
in 1998 by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects found that
25-33% of same sex relationships involved abuse.
Myth: In same-sex relationships,
the problem is really fighting or "mutual combat," no domestic
Fact: Domestic violence is not the same as a consensual fight,
no matter who is involved. Loving, healthy relationships do not
include physical fighting. Abuse is about a pattern of controlling
behaviors. Batterers use violence to increase their power and control
over their partners.
The law does not and will not protect victims of same-sex domestic
Fact: Although many law enforcement professionals and court
systems are still confused about same-sex domestic violence, there
have been many constructive changes in recent years. In many
jurisdictions, policies require the police to intervene and arrest the
person they perceive to be the batterer. Although many police remain
confused when attempting to sort out incidents involving same gender
couples and may end up arresting the wrong or both parties in a
battering situation, opportunities to educate and train the police and
courts about the realities of domestic violence in same-sex
relationships are increasing.
Myth: My partner is not like that, except when he/she is
Fact: Alcohol and drugs DO NOT cause violence. Stopping
substance use does not mean that the abuse will stop. The use of
alcohol and drugs can make violence worse, but the choice to resort to
violence is deliberate, and the sole responsibility of the abuser.
Help is available. Call 1-800-799-SAFE