Concerned about your relationship? A girlfriend, boyfriend, lover or other partner who treats you badly can cause serious injury to your body, mind and emotions.

  • Are you ever afraid of your partner?
  • Has your partner ever threatened to harm or "out" you?
  • Has your partner ever hit you, thrown things at you or forced you to have sex?

If you answered "yes," even once, your partner may be abusive.

Myths and Facts About GLBT Domestic Violence:

Myth: Battering/abuse does not exist in lesbian, bisexual, and trans communities; only men abuse women.
Fact: Domestic violence does exist among gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans people; it is not a problem limited to heterosexual relationships. The extent and severity of abuse in these communities is becoming increasingly evident. A 10-year, 10-city study published in 1998 by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects found that 25-33% of same sex relationships involved abuse.

Myth: In same-sex relationships, the problem is really fighting or "mutual combat," no domestic violence.
Fact: Domestic violence is not the same as a consensual fight, no matter who is involved. Loving, healthy relationships do not include physical fighting. Abuse is about a pattern of controlling behaviors. Batterers use violence to increase their power and control over their partners.

Myth: The law does not and will not protect victims of same-sex domestic violence.
Fact: Although many law enforcement professionals and court systems are still confused about same-sex domestic violence, there have been many constructive changes in recent years. In many jurisdictions, policies require the police to intervene and arrest the person they perceive to be the batterer. Although many police remain confused when attempting to sort out incidents involving same gender couples and may end up arresting the wrong or both parties in a battering situation, opportunities to educate and train the police and courts about the realities of domestic violence in same-sex relationships are increasing.

Myth: My partner is not like that, except when he/she is drunk/high.
Fact: Alcohol and drugs DO NOT cause violence. Stopping substance use does not mean that the abuse will stop. The use of alcohol and drugs can make violence worse, but the choice to resort to violence is deliberate, and the sole responsibility of the abuser.

Help is available. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)